Thursday, July 17, 2008

Last Day


So today is my last day working for the evil empire. I had my exit interview with Magda Goebbels and the mandatory "hey-were-happy-for-you-but-pissed-your-making-us-actually-have-to-do-work" staff lunch. The only thing left is the equally painful happy hour.
I hope I can adjust working in a positive environment where people are actually pleasant and happy to be working there...I'm a little worried that I can't. I never thought my dating issues would cross over into my working life but is it possible that I have career commitment-phobia?
Will I never allow myself to settle down with a "nice job" prefering instead the emotionally distant and abusive "bad jobs"..you know- the ones that smoke Marb 27s and ride motorcycles? Solely because- when those bad jobs leave me feeling empty and unsatisfied I can always blame them- never myself. Its like a mother fucking lifetime movie.
and this is why I drink.

Monday, July 14, 2008

andireallymeanit!

I AM
SO TIRED
OF PRETENDING
TO BE
SAD ABOUT
LEAVING THIS PLACE

From the good people at www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com

“A Day in the Life of a Middle-Class Republican”

I found this floating around during the last election and thought it was time for it to see the light of day again.
Hope you enjoy (and please forward!):
Tom gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot with good, clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan. Because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Tom gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast — bacon and eggs this day. Tom’s bacon is safe to eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry. Tom takes his morning shower, reaching for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount that is contains because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and the breakdown of its contents. Tom dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree-hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Tom begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Tom’s employer meets these standards because Tom’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Tom is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he’ll get worker’s compensation or an unemployment check because some liberal didn’t think he should lose his home to temporary misfortune.
It’s noon time. Tom needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Tom’s deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some liberal wanted to protect Tom’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.
Tom has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Tom and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.
Tom is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dads; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification (those rural Republican’s would still be sitting in the dark).
Tom is happy to see his dad, who is now retired. Tom’s dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Tom wouldn’t have to. After his visit with dad, Tom gets back in his car for the ride home. He turns on a radio talk show. The host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t tell Tom that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Tom enjoys throughout his day. Tom agrees, “We don’t need those big government liberals ruining our lives. After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”

Friday, July 11, 2008

some friday awesome-ness

williamsboard.com -- for all your useless hipster drivel needs.




Monday, July 7, 2008

Animals!

I can walk, watch and feed them
for money
genious


 why didn't you think of that?

the exorcism of emily rose

has anyone actually been able to sit through this shit-show in its entirety? 
i mean, its pretty aweful- and if there are 2 genres of movies that i love its exorcism movies and courtroom dramas...but i suppose these are just two great tastes that do not taste great together.
unless this one is just particularly crappy...i think perhaps to enjoy horror movies you have to suspend your practical beliefs...but you watch courtroom dramas in order to feel smart...
...so how can you exercise blind faith and feel smart at the same time?
I think the best way would be to believe me when i say to not watch this movie, and then feel smart you didn't waste your time the next time you hear people complaining about it.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Newsy News

I got a new job!

Its funny, when I was shitcanned at a fourth of july party on friday and it hit me...I have hated my job for so long that I have no idea how to NOT complain about work. It's nuts, I'm nuts. that party was nuts...but now i'm getting off topic....

point is- I only have 2 more weeks of ICSC hell and then I'm off to be the newest Time Out NY employee. It should be pretty awesome. 

I also got my economic stimulous check today. the thing that sucks about it is that its basically only going to bring my bank account back up to $0...well, unless my credit card payment goes through before thursday, then it will still be overdrawn.
I need a way to make some change on the side...short from prostitution or a web-cam business, anybody have any ideas?